茫茫人海中遇见一个自己真心喜欢的人非常难得，沉醉在爱情中的你开始幻想和他们步入婚姻殿堂，但——且慢！那个人真的合适做你的终身伴侣吗？七夕情人节计划求爱或被求爱的你，在做出承诺之前，有几件事是你需要弄了解的。
1. Firstly, ask them what theyre looking for.
弄清他们为何选择你
You dont need to ask if they want to go out with you straight away, said Claire Stott, a data analyst at dating app Badoo. But you can say Are you in the market for looking for something? or What are you looking for? And this gives you an indicator of whether theyre looking for something a bit more than something lighthearted.
约会应用Badoo的数据剖析师克莱尔·斯托特说：“你不需要直接问他们为何想和你在一块，但你可以用这种方法提问：你为何来相亲？你想找个哪种伴侣？通过这种问题，你就能了解他们是不是只不过随意玩玩。
They might be honest and tell you theyre not looking for anything serious — and thats fine. But they might also say they are willing to settle for the right person, which gives you the indication youre not wasting your time. Its rather that than finding out later on that you were one of seven other people they were hanging out with.
他们或许坦诚相告，说自己不是在找结婚对象，这也没事。不过他们或许会说，假如遇见对的人他们也想安定下来，暗示你没在费时。目前就问了解，总比后来才发现他们同时在跟好几个人约会要好。
2. Are they content with life?
他们对目前的生活感到满足吗？
It sounds quite deep for the start of a relationship, when everything is supposed to be fun and carefree. But Stott said its a good idea to find out if someone is happy with wher they are in their life.
最初一段恋爱就问这种问题好像太深沉了，爱情刚开始的阶段本该是高兴有趣、无忧无虑的。但斯托特觉得，最好能了解他们是不是满足于目前的生活。
Because being fairly content is a sign you are at least mentally ready to meet someone and have a relationship with another person, she said. And a lot of that comes from, it sounds really cheesy, but loving yourself before you can love someone else. And if youre meeting someone whos really upset with their life... it can be a bit of a warning sign they arent quite ready to open up their life to a relationship.
斯托特说：“对我们的生活满足说明你的精神状况合适结识别人、与别人开启一段恋爱。虽然这话非常俗，但你要先爱自己，才能爱其他人。假如你遇到的人对我们的生活感到非常不满，这说明他们还没有筹备好迎接另一个人进入我们的生活。”
You dont have to be quite so direct about it. You can ask questions like Are you happy in your job? or Do you feel at home in the city you live in?
你不必太直接。你可以问他们“你对我们的工作认可吗？”或者“你在目前居住的这个城市有归属感吗？”
You can ask these questions which signal whether that person is in a good place and whether you think they might be ready for a relationship, Stott said.
斯托特说：“通过这类问题，你好了解这个人是不是状况稳定，也可以了解他们是不是筹备好谈一场恋爱。”
3. Do they have any major future plans?
他们将来有哪些计划？
Nobody wants to be in the position of falling for someone, then learning the plan to move half way across the world... indefinitely.
哪个也不想爱上一个人之后才了解那个人计划搬到世界的另一头去，而且不了解什么时间会回来。
Any major life-changing events, like moving to work abroad, or travelling, will likely impact your relationship. So its handy to know about someones plans early on.
其他人生大事，譬如出国工作、旅游等都可能影响你们的感情关系。所以早早了解他们的计划比较有利。
4. What is their average Sunday like?
他们通常是如何过周末的？
The way you spend your Sundays can be quite telling. Some people waste away the hours nursing a hangover, wheras others are more get up and go types.
度过周末的方法非常能说明问题。有的人在周末长睡不醒，而有的人则喜欢出去玩。
It sounds quite random but you can really get an idea of the person they are, said Stott, who recommends asking this question early on. Quite often its that proactive versus hungover personality.
斯托特说：“这个问题看上去非常随便，但你却可以了解他们是个哪种人。”她建议早点问这个问题。“一般要么是积极主动型，要么是懒散型。”
5. How do they handle stressful situations?
他们怎么样应付危机状况？
The way someone deals with things that go wrong in their life can be a real indicator of how compatible you might be with them, Stott said. And there isnt a right or wrong way they might be.
斯托特说：“从一个人处置危机事件的方法可以看出你和这个人能否和谐相处。而应付危机的方法没对错之分。”
For instance, some people retreat into themselves and need coaxing out by someone who is more in touch with their feelings. If two emotional hermits start dating, it might not be a totally healthy relationship that blossoms.
譬如，有的人会将自己封闭起来，只有亲密的人才能让他们打高兴扉。假如最初谈男女朋友的两个人都是这种“情感隐士”，那样这段恋爱可能不会顺利进步下去。
If you go through something stressful, see how the other person reacts. It doesnt have to be anything big, but it can be a good gauge for how much help they will be during the tougher things life throws at you. If they are dismissive or dont seem to care about your troubles, it could be a sign theyre afraid of intimacy, or cant communicate very well.
假如你遭遇了一些难事，你可以察看他们的反应。即便不是什么大事，你也可以看出在遭遇更艰难的事情时他们能帮上多少忙。假如他们不理会或不关心你的麻烦，这可能意味着他们害怕亲密，或者没办法非常不错地交流。
6. Do they have the same values as you?
他们的价值观是不是和你相似？
People all have their certain deal breakers. For example, some will not tolerate drug use. Others are intent on not havin children. Although its hard to get into the big TOPics at the start of the relationship, you should find out if they have any values that are the total opposite of your own.
每一个人都有我们的一些原则。譬如有些人不可以容忍吸毒，而有些人决意不要小孩。尽管在恋爱之初中一年级般不会讨论这种重大话题，但你还是应该弄了解他们是不是有和你完全相悖的价值观。
Theres no use screwing yourself over in the long run basically, said Stott. People dont broach it in the right way, [or] they think maybe Ill change, and they dont. Then it just becomes an issue later. There are some certain deal breakers that should be brought up early.
斯托特说：“从长远来看，欺骗自己是没用的。他们不会在刚开始就坦白交代，他们想着有一天自己或许会改变，但他们不会改，拖到后来就成了问题。有一些原则性问题应该早早提出来。”
7. What are their friends and family like?
他们的朋友和家人是什么样子的？
People arent always a mirror image of their friends and family, but in general, you can tell a lot about a person from who they choose to hang out with, and wher they came from.
大家不会都和我们的家人朋友一个样，但总体而言，你可以通过他们交往的人和家庭出身获悉不少。
If you meet someones friends and you think theyre the worst people youve ever met, it might be a bit of a red flag of what youre missing of the person, Stott said. Is there a side to them I havent quite seen yet?
斯托特说：“假如你见了他们的朋友后，觉得他们是你所见过的最糟糕的人，这是个危险信号，说明你可能看走了眼。或许他们有不为你所知的另一面？”
The same goes for them meeting your friends. While youre wearing the rose-tinted glasses during the honeymoon period, it can be tempting to dismiss things that would bother you further down the line. Your friends wont be so easily fooled.
让他们见你的朋友也能有所发现。正处于恋爱甜蜜期的你戴着玫瑰色眼镜，比较容易忽略他们身上那些将来会叫你烦恼的缺点。但你的朋友可没那样好糊弄。
